Thinking or Feeling ?

Heart and Brain Tug-o-War

Have you ever considered how much thinking we do compared to feeling ?

Imagine how different life would be if we focused more on feeling with our heart rather than thinking with our brain…  Too often we are consumed with the thoughts in our head, that we forget to acknowledge the feelings that come naturally in our heart. This causes a conflict not only between our heart and brain, but also our ego and intuition leading us into being confused about the best direction to take.

With our lives filled with information saturation each day from all kinds of sources, until we discover how to step away and stop our mind to focus on our heart we will continue to repeat the same process. It is often a hard lesson to learn as what we resist persists until the lesson is learnt, which can end in all sorts of disasters. Trust me I will be the first to admit I have had some hard lessons to learn on this journey but I also know I have gained so much from making the change also…  Don’t get me wrong learning to feel with your heart is not easy, but what we have to understand is that thinking too much is what creates the harder path in our journey…  I know which one I prefer…

Learning to listen to your heart is about taking time to consider the options you have when making choices in life and looking at what is in the best interest of everyone and not just one person…  Yes we do make a lot of sacrifices on this journey but when we start to look at it from a different view we can overcome these obstacles and turn them into opportunities by taking time to listen to the guidance we are given… Look at the choices you make…

Do you consider everyones view
or is it more about making sure your child with Autism is the priority ?

The reason I ask, is I know that for many years we have made sacrifices in many areas of our life and often the choices were made by me putting all these obstacles in the way before anything had even happen. Rather than thinking with my heart on how we could make this happen I would sabotage the situation. This has led to us avoiding or not attending many events as it simply was easier, only everyone is missing out when we do this… Yes, where possible we do what we can as a family as we have endeavoured to build a strong connection between our three children and us. The only issue is when decisions came down to how Master ASD would cope, rather than looking at the sacrifices being made and how we could make it happen so everyones view was taken into consideration we would base it on his priorities…

An example of this was an event we were invited to on the weekend. Master ASD travels well but does not always cope for long in unfamiliar locations or where there is a lot of noise… This has often meant making the choice not to do things due to me reflecting on past situations (thinking) rather than looking at the opportunity (feeling). So, here I was torn to what was going to be best as if we went he may not cope. If we didn’t the rest of us would miss out and if we left him with a Support
Worker he would miss out too… This is where the guilt kicked in and thankfully my heart was listening which led me to doing something I had not before which was giving our son the choice, which he chose to go with us…

This way he knew what was happening, he made the choice,
then it was up to me to action the plan…

The following morning I was up early to give him his breakfast and then his favourite bacon before we headed of on a 3 hour drive to see family. We packed the ipad as well as snacks and food all which helps with keeping him in sync on any journey along with our essences too… This boy laughed all the way there and was happy as for close to three hours before we headed home. It was such a great feeling to know the preparation I had put in place with his siblings (it may be a long drive for short visit) was so worth every minute… The three hour trip home was also very calm too…

Now imagine if I didn’t go with my heart and went with my head I would of missed out on bringing joy to all of our children. We would of missed out on turning another obstacle into an opportunity as well as experiencing a amazing day out as a family… Yes it does take time to change our ways and it is something I am learning more about each day, as if we as parents don’t learn to move forward how can we expect our children with autism to do the same…. Change is never easy but when we learn to think less and feel more the choices we make will be so much clearer and our journey so much easier..

Always consider what is the best option for your highest good
and what is it worth to everyone else in your family ?