Planning

Autism

Hey amazing people I know its a while since I shared a blog with you and there is no real excuses although I could list a few, lack of sleep, holidays, being a busy mum, having a son with Autism, having a new puppy, but you know what they are simply just excuses. The reality is we often have plans in place and then don’t continue to follow them through, which is when things start to become undone and we lose our momentum which relates to so many things in life.

When we fail to plan, we plan to fail…

The question is how do we plan ahead when there can be obstacles that change the direction we are going in any moment, day week, month or year. It’s simple. Have a plan that is flexible. A plan that does not involve you wanting to control every minute and every hour of your day. Look at what needs to be done and how you can best fit this into your schedule. Do not overcommit. I see so many who have to-do-lists that don’t work as there is more on there than any human can do in one day… Yes, I am sure there a few people that are resonating with this…

What about time for you ?

A good plan includes time for you. Why ? Maybe because you are the most important person on this journey and if you don’t believe this then it’s time we change that perception you have of you. Without you a lot of what happens each day as a parent and/or carer does not happen. You need to nurture you so you can better nurture your family too… Start with just 5 minutes at at time if thats all you can spare and build on it. I know it seems like a distant dream but believe me you have to believe it is possible for it to become reality. For me some days this is what kept me going, simply believing that one day I would have more time for me…

Make life easier where you can…

Imagine if once a week you made a list of meals you could have each night so you did not have to think about it for the rest of the week. This was one of the best strategies I introduced into our lives. It meant I did not have to think each day what we were going to eat. It was a reminder to get meat out of the freezer and when things went south at the end of the day and everything turned to chaos you weren’t left going now I have to think about what to cook when it all settled again… Now just to clarify I am not talking about planning your whole meal. Its about what is going to be the meat component whether it be mince, steak, sausages, chicken, chops, roast etc. When you have this part planned out you open your world to less stress at the end of the day, when things can often be the most hectic.

Balance your time…

This one I feel is so valuable with children. There is one of you who needs time for you, time with your partner (if applicable), time as a family and time with every child. When you break it down and for me I used my fingers it soon began to make sense to my children when they were little. We need to be mindful that we can’t spread ourselves too thin or we are going to break and then we are not going to be of value to anyone and most of all no value to yourself…

Take bite size pieces…

I was once told by a beautiful lady you can’t digest a french stick all at once or you will get indigestion. You need to take one bite at a time to enjoy it. This is the same as our schedule. If it looks chaotic (maybe we need to have a chat) you need to know that looking at one day or one week at a time is better than looking at the month or year ahead. By looking too far ahead you start putting yourself into stress mode and you lose sight of being in the moment. The moment which creates many moments, which creates the hours and weeks ahead which lead us to the goals we want to achieve, but first we have to come back to the now to achieve what we would like in the future…

Baby steps are the key to success…

As crazy as it may seem this has been one of the most common tools that my clients have realised are so valuable. Trying to jump to far ahead only sets you up to fail, especially when you have not looked at what you intend to achieve from the beginning. Yes, often we wish to achieve something but don’t take into account all that needs to happen for you to be ready and your child too. There is some crucial questions that I feel are very important when we set our sights on a new goal and if you are keen to know what these are I am keen to have a conversation with you to look at how these can be of value to you…

Be kind to you…

This journey is about learning for everyone, and yes I mean everyone. You, your partner, ASD child, siblings, extended family, and friends. Things will be said that we need to learn not to take out of context. Not always do people intend to offend, they are as new to this as you and the info they have has only come from past knowledge and experiences which may not be valid to your situation.  Take time to process what you need to at any stage of this journey as you will learn so much from these children. Always look with your heart and not your eyes as you will feel more than you see. What you feel is always more important than what you see unless its a new milestone and then its going to be amazing…

Most of all reward you for the amazing job that you do,
as you need to learn to honour you…