Expect the Unexpected

There will be days that life is amazing and everything feels great, and then there will be days where everything begins to turn to chaos and disorder as you watch your child roll into a complete meltdown… This is the life of having a child with Autism…

What people forget and sometimes we as Parents do too, is they as much as you are allowed to have emotions in these situations. From the outside we may not always see what is going on, but often for these children it’s a time bomb that has been compounding reading for a big explosion.

Times like this we need to embrace, as they are a reminder that just when you thought your child was coping so well with a situation they did not.  It’s opportunity to evaluate the situation so you can move on from this point being prepared or more aware of how situations can impact these children.  I have learnt many times over with our boy that he may cruise through all the changes and then when it all seems well this is when reality hits as I have not realised how much his routine has changed which often is due to unforeseen circumstances… It may not mean you can stop it happening again, but it does mean you can be more prepared and ensure that there is as much structure as you can around what is happening…

Overcoming these issues I know aren’t always easy, as I have been there and still am on many occasions and often do wish that I wasn’t until I reflect on how far we have come by using every situation as an opportunity to learn, gain and refine the strategies we are using.  It was about the big picture and the long term goal and to achieve this means making sure each step leads you there no matter how slow…

It has meant learning to ask for help knowing that it shows a sign of strength and not weakness. Sometimes we can’t deal with our own child’s reaction to a situation, discipline or decision and it’s ok to have strategies in place to call someone for help or to gain assistance. Trust me as hard as it may seem it took me a long time to realise this was best for everyone in our family and it changes the focus in any situation immediately impacting now and the future too…  This may even mean having someone that is on standby for those days when it all gets too hard and trust me I have had plenty of these over the years and yes they have reduced me to tears…

Our life is a journey with twists and turns no matter who you are.  There are days we cope and days that we don’t cope with the world around us, so I feel we can’t expect our child to either… I feel when we look beyond the situation or behaviour to see their potential you see everything from a whole new perspective.  I know our boy has so much to offer and most days he shares this and others well he is frustrated with not being able to express the way he feels or why he wants things the way he does which challenges him constantly…

Don’t get me wrong it’s not easy as 1,2,3 for it to all happen and it does wound/scar you in ways some people will never understand, mentally, emotionally and physically unless they have walked in similar shoes or spent a day in your life.  For me it was about making the decision allow these situations to inhibit their growth by the emotions we carry and how we feel or was I going to discover ways to improve the situation we are in and create opportunities out of the obstacles we are given…  Nobody achieves anything when we give up, as these children are here to teach us in many ways and I know our boy has impacted more than our lives on his journey so far, and he will continue to do so.

His potential exceeds more than people often believe simply because he is non-verbal.