Control and Freedom

Control v's Freedom

We all want FREEDOM, yet we still like to be in CONTROL of everything.

So how do we have one without the other ?

It’s all about finding balance in life.  The balance where control is required, to where we need to let go of the desire to control everything.  This balance is what allows you to increase the Freedom you wish to achieve in life…

When we wish to control all situations in our life we often create increased stress, worry and tension, not only within ourselves but also in those that surround us, which is physically, emotionally and mentally unhealthy for everyone involved.  It can lead to us being irrational when situations don’t go to plan, often leaving us feeling vulnerable.  When we release this need of control by allowing ourselves to experience freedom we present differently.  We become open to making empowering decisions by using our self-expression with value.  This will then leads us to seeing, we do have the choice to create Freedom.

Now you may be thinking, how does this work when we have children with Autism.  Honestly I know how you feel as this used to be the same for me until I realised that life does not present the we like everyday.  We cannot plan for every moment, situation or event that we may encounter in our personal lives, let alone with our ASD children.  We need to acknowledge that we cannot control everything in their lives, as there will come a time that you have to let go of the control you have pursued to see the freedom that exists within opportunities…

Recently our internet provider was down and as many of you may relate to, for us it has always led to major meltdowns, prior to now. Whether it be a power outage, internet outage, viruses or otherwise the outcome was never great and often it was short term.  This time it wasn’t, so I had no choice but to acknowledge that I could not fix the problem, as I had no control over being able to resolve this situation.  By doing this I was able to make the choice to how I would approach the situation.  No, it wasn’t easy but what I learnt is that the strategies we have used have made a huge difference.  Even in the last twelve months we have come so far with our sons ability to cope with unexpected situations is so much better…

In all this what has been the gain you may ask… The gain is being given the opportunity to see that at different times control will be taken from you and if you allow it to be, you will gain the freedom to see there is situations that you can deal with differently as your child will have grown as well as you, which makes for a better household and family dynamics too…